Shelter
by Leya
Summary: This story is about fear and hate. A small glimpse on Draco's life. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I'm sorry to admit it, but it's not mine.  
  
Author's note: I cannot say why I have written this fic. Eventually I have read to much Harry Potter fanfiction and now I get obsessed with some very strange ideas. If you know me than you won't be shocked. For all the others I only can say that you don't know what is coming up to you... By the way, be nice and leave some reviews behind. I would like to know if you like it or not.  
  
Warning: Yaoi, male/male, rape etc. Eyeryone who's offended with this stuff turn away and run.   
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Shelter  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
The boy ran. He hurried through the dark trying to escape the horror coming up behind him. His breath came in harsh and short gasps, while his heart pounded painfully inside his chest. There were footsteps behind him, footsteps which followed him wherever he went.  
  
"You cannot hide, boy!" There was this voice again and the boy felt hot tears burning in his eyes. He couldn't ran any longer.  
  
"There is no escape for you!"  
  
Hot fear shot through his mind as he heard these manacing voice again and realized that his pursuer was nearer than he thought he would be.  
  
The boy knew there was no escape and crouched under a table praying that the man wouldn't notice him. Suddenly there were feet in front of his eyes and the boy didn't move, didn't breathe. He only prayed silently to every god he knew that maybe tonight would be different from all those other times before.  
  
"You will never get away from me!" hissed the cold voice of his pursuer in his ear. Screaming the boy lunged forward but strong hands grabbed hold of him and drew him back. He fought madly for his freedom but it was futile. Suddenly the hands were inside his clothes, ripping them away. Tearing, pushing, forcing him under the black shadow he knew for so long.  
  
The boy felt himself torn apart as the man drove himself deep inside his tortured body and his screams quickly faded into painfull whimpers of agony and despair. There was no-one he could trust, no-one he could tell about the memories that followed him through every waking moment of his life, couldn't tell anyone about those feeling of helplessness and shame that claimed his days and possessed his nights.  
  
"I make sure you never be free from me! Remember. You. Are. Mine." With every word the man pounded into the nearly lifeless body underneath him, showing not the slightest semblence of mercy. One last thrust drove him over the edge his seed spattering into the abused body of the boy.  
  
Suddenly he drew back making the boy cry out in pain. He looked at the small figure at the floor and left without a word.  
  
The boy curled himself up into a tight ball. His back ached like hell and he felt blood running down his inner tights.  
  
Tomorrow he would be back to a new year in Hogwart and again he would build up a facade of arrogance and coldness hiding his shattered soul behind a mask of self-confidence. He would pretend that he needed no-one, that he was strong.   
  
Draco closed his eyes for a second, allowing his tears to fall down his cheeks. Yes, tomorrow he would show a perfect outside and no-one would the thousands and thousands of fragments his father had left behind after he used him. He was a Malfoy and would never let anyone see that his father took his body and soul. His loneliness and fear will forever buried deep inside his mind. That's the only shelter he will ever have. 


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: Not mine. You all know it.  
  
Warning: Don't worry, I don't want Tom Felton! All I want is the image I have pictured inside my head of Draco. (smiles). Here's chapter two and I cannot say where this story will lead me. I hope you like to be surprised.  
  
+#+  
  
Shelter_02  
  
+#+  
  
The next morning found him on the floor where his father had left him. Draco was lying there for nearly five hours and couldn't move. Every single muscle in his body ached with burning pain.  
  
Slowly he stood up. His vision blurred and for a single moment he wasn't sure if he could walk. Then he stumbled to his bathroom.  
  
Perfection. All he had to show was perfection.   
  
Draco closed the door behind him and stood in front of the mirror taking a stock. His face was as pale as ever and showed no sign of what had happened the night before and that was what mattered most. All the other marks could be hidden under his clothes.  
  
"Draco, sweetheart! Is everything alright?"   
  
Draco sighed silently. "Yes, mother! Of course!"  
  
"Fine! Please hurry! Your father is waiting for you in his study!" He heard his mother leave. Draco reached for the soap, trying to avoid his eyes in the mirror as he placed one of his hands on a pair of dark violet bruises which were running over his ribs and stomach. Memories of the last night and all the nights before whirled around in his head.   
  
He tried to fight those memories, not wanting to remember but they came back to his mind, more and more by every passing second and suddenly he couldn't take it any longer and with a desperate sobbing he closed his eyes and let the memories take over.  
  
  
Flashback  
  
"Draco, come here!"  
  
Draco watched his father with a fearful expression on his face but nonetheless he followed his command. His father wasn't a patient man and to disobey him would make everything worse.  
  
Slowly he moved closer to the man not knowing what was about to happen. Every time his father ordered him to meet him in his study he didn't knew what Lucius has planned for him.  
  
Sometimes he would only yell at him. Other times he would beat him up. Draco hoped it was one of those possibilities until he saw the lust and the hunger in his father's eyes.   
  
End Flashback  
  
  
Draco crossed the hall and knocked carefully at the door to his father's study. It took Lucius almost five minutes to answer. Draco swallowed hart and went inside the room.  
  
Lucius Malfoy was sitting behind his desk. His expression was cold. "What took you so long, boy?"  
  
"I'm sorry, father!"  
  
Lucius stood up and placed himself in front of his son. One of his hands came up to touch his cheek and turned Draco's face in several directions. Satisfied that there was no visibly mark he returned to his desk.   
  
"I expect you to win the Quidditch-Cup this year!"  
  
"I will try, father!"  
  
With two strides Lucius went back to his son and clutched his hand in Draco's hair, pulling viciously at the soft strands. "Trying is not enough! You will win or I'll make you regret your failure!"  
  
Draco nodded. Lucius pushed him away not caring if he hurt his son or not. Draco collided with the wall in his back und smacked his head at the stones.  
  
"Why are you doing these things to me?"  
  
Silence spreaded out between them. Draco couldn't believe he really asked this question... shivering he waited for his father to react.  
  
Lucius' smile made Draco feel sick. The man lowered his mouth to Draco's ear. "I love you, Draco! You are everything to me!"  
  
Draco closed his eyes as his father's hands began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't move as he felt his shirt fall from his shoulders leaving him exposed to his father's gaze.   
  
There was no escape for him. It would happen again and again. Once more Draco let himself drift away and wished he was dead.  
  
+#+ 


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer: Not mine. It's all Mrs. Rowlands.  
  
What should I say? As I wrote this I was a little depressed.   
  
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Shelter 03  
  
+++  
  
"Draco?!" Narcissa waited in the hall, her face full of concern and pity.   
  
Draco didn't answer and continued to walk on. Refusing to look at his mother.  
  
"Draco, please! Talk to me! If there is something I can do for you...?"  
  
Draco whirled around anger burning in his eyes. "Haven't you done enough already? Stay away from me! I don't need your pity!"  
  
Narcissa looked hurt. "But I'm your mother! I'm worried about you!"  
  
"You? You're not my mother! If you were, you would have done something to stop him! You are weak! You have no will of your own!"  
  
Intense pain flickered across Narcissas face but she said nothing as Draco retreated to his bedroom. There was only one thought on his mind. Today he would go back to Hogwarts. Nothing else mattered. He would escape this living hell once more.  
  
He didn't hear the soft footsteps behind him until a cold hand touched his back and made him swirl around. With wide opened eyes he stared at his mother who hold a small box out to him.  
  
"This is something I bought for you!" Narcissa smiled insecurely and shoved the box in Draco's hands. "Please take it!"  
  
"Why should I?" Narcissa's smile faded and Draco enjoyed it. Until he saw the tears in his mother eyes. His heart missed a beat but he refused to show his discomfort.  
  
"I know I've done everything wrong, Draco. But please, take it. It might help you...I mean..." Narcissa turned around and fled.  
  
Draco blinked in confusion. Suddenly curious he opened the box and froze in shock. With shaking hands he held the glass bottle into the light only to be sure.  
  
A poison? His own mother gave him the means to end his life? Draco couldn't believe it. He never claimed to understand his mother but this...this was too much.  
  
"Draco?!"  
  
Draco tried to hide the small bottle but it was too late. Lucius frowned and stretched out his hands. His son could do nothing else as to hand the bottle over to him. Lucius was no fool. He knew what it was and his face hardened.  
  
"Who gave it to you? Narcissa?" His voice was as cold as ice and Draco flinched in panic, knowing what was about to come. Lucius slapped him hard across the face making Draco stumble back. The next second he found himself on the floor his father standing over him.  
  
"Have you forgotten what I told you?"   
  
Draco didn't answer. He pressed one of his hands against his burning cheek and fought back the tears which suddenly formed in his eyes.  
  
"It seems I have to repeat the lesson, Draco. You will not go to Hogwarts today. I'll tell Dumbledore you feel not well." Lucius threw the bottle in the air and cast a spell to destroy it. Then his eyes fixed on his son who desperately tried not to show any sign of fear. It would make everything worse. "It's time to teach you not to run away from me!"  
  
Lucius moved his wand and a whip formed in his hands. As the first lash burned in his skin Draco curled himself into a tight little ball and prayed he found the strength not to scream.  
  
+++  
  
‚Beautiful. Even now he is beautiful.' Lucius thought as he watched his unconscious son laying in a puddle of blood on the floor.  
  
The man sighed and knelt beside the lifeless body of his son. From the beginning he had made mistake after mistake. He loved Draco so much that it hurts sometimes and actually all he wanted was to make his son happy.  
  
But deep in his heart there was a small egoistic voice which told him to take what he wanted to. Deep in his heart there was a hunger he couldn't deny and when he looked at Draco there was a need to possess, a need to take him and this desire frightened him.  
  
How would you call it? Lust, hunger, avidity? He couldn't name his unnatural desire to possess Draco every time he saw him and it made himself feeling sick and perverted.  
  
Every day he told himself that it would be the last time, that there would be no further incident.  
  
But when he saw his son, Draco's light blonde hair, those beautiful grey eyes...then he knew it would be futile and everything would begin again.  
  
Sighing he lifted the unconscious boy in his arms and laid him back on his bed. There was enough time to heal Draco's injuries before the boy went back to school.  
  
+++  
  
The next time Draco gained consciousness he found himself clutching his sheets desperately. Slowly the panic vanished and his breathing settled.  
  
To his surprise he was laying on his bed. A soft sneering at his side made him turn around carefully and he ended up face to face with his sleeping father.  
  
His eyes grew wide and with difficulty he suppressed a scream. Panic rose inside his heart as he silently got up and cautiously left the room.  
  
Agony shot through his sore body. It wasn't easy for him to walk but somehow he managed into his bathroom. For the second time this day he closed the door behind him. This time he didn't look into the mirror. He doesn't wanted to face what his father had done to him again.  
  
Lost in his thoughts he traced one silvery scar at his wrists with his fingertips. Memories flooded into his mind. He was ten years old and his father had raped him for the first time. This day he had cut his wrists.   
  
How often had he tried to kill himself? He couldn't count the times he cut his wrists, using poision or potions and heaven knows what else to put his life to an end. But nothing worked. His father was always there to save him.   
  
Draco took the knife he had hidden under the towels and weighted it in his hand. Maybe today he would succeed. Determined he moved the blade over his skin watching in odd fascination as his blood gushed out of the cut.  
  
Smiling he watched his life slip away. There would be no more bruises after countless beatings, no more pain and hate, no more abuses. Time to end everything. Maybe there would be another chance. Maybe his next life would be happy...  
  
+++  
  
~ tbc ~ 


	4. Part 4

Disclaimer: Not mine at all.  
  
Warnings: Slightly changed I didn't like my first try to much so I decided to rewrite it. I'm not sure it's better know but I like it this way.  
  
#+#+#  
  
Shelter 04  
  
#+#+#  
  
In his dream Lucius felt like flying. A soft warm breeze was surrounding him and took him higher and higher into the sky.  
  
Swirling, twisting and turning his soul spiralled through the clouded air following a golden string of light flashing up before him.  
  
Lucius followed it curiously. The golden light spreaded across the blue of the sky, touching him gently and in this instant Lucius knew...   
  
"Draco!"  
  
Lucius woke with a terrified scream and found the bed deserted.   
  
#+#+#  
  
Draco closed his eyes and let his mind slip away. It was so easy. He never felt pain. The only thing he felt was happiness. Finally he succeeded...  
  
The bathroom door bursted in hundreds of splinters as his father forced his away inside the small room. Lucius stood on the threshold his eyes scanning the room.  
  
He saw the trail of blood and let his eyes follow it.   
  
Draco was lying on the floor, his blood surrounding him in a small puddle. Suddenly he felt anger. How could he dare to steal himself away? Draco was his and his alone!  
  
Lucius knelt down beside his son cradling the lifeless body in his arms. With shaking hands he reached for his wand only to realise it wasn't there. He remembered he had left it on the nightstand.  
  
"Let him go, Lucius!"  
  
He whirled around and found his wife standing in the doorframe clutching his wand in her hands.  
  
"Give it to me!" Lucius lowered Draco to the ground and lept to his feet.   
  
Narzissa backed away. "Please, Lucius! When you love him you let him go!"  
  
Suddenly everything went quiet. Lucius stared unbelievingly at his wife. He had to be wrong. Narzissa would ‚never' suggest to kill their child.  
  
With a furious cry he backhanded her hard making her stumble against the wall. "You stupid bitch!"  
  
Narzissa hit the wall and fell to the ground. She didn't move. On her forehead formed a large bruise. Lucius smiled cruelly. He would attend to her later.  
  
He went back to his son and moved his wand over Draco's body. It took a long time but finally he was sure he saved his sons life.  
  
#+#  
  
Lucius was sitting beside Draco's bed watching the boy carefully. Draco slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the cold expression on his father's face.   
  
Sighing he knew he failed again.  
  
"Draco?!" Lucius laid a hand over his sons throat digging his fingers into the soft skin of Draco's neck. "I will tell you something, little dragon! You cannot leave me! I won't let you!"  
  
Draco simply nodded to tired to fight anymore.   
  
"Good. The next time you try to throw your life away think it through. I will always be there. When you try something like this in Hogwarts I will find a way to retrieve you. It doesn't matter whatever you try you will never be free from me!"  
  
Draco didn't respond. Never show him how you feel, never let him know how much he hurts you.  
  
Lucius kissed him roughly. Draco opened his mouth to his father's tongue, accepting Lucius need to show him his desire, denying him nothing.   
  
As Lucius hands roamed over his body Draco forced himself to relax pretending he liked his father's touch. It would please the man above him when he believed his son finally gave in, finally learned to cope with his father's 'love'.   
  
He bore Lucius touches silently. To his relief it didn't take long. Lucius collapsed on Draco stroking his hair and whispering senseless caresses in his ears.  
  
"Can I go to Hogwarts tomorrow?"  
  
Lucius frowned. "Why should I reward you after what you did to me?"  
  
"There are many lessons I will miss!" Both stared at each other.   
  
The boy never showed his emotions. His eyes stayed cold and blank but inside he screamed in despair, his heart ached by the loss of his innocence taken away by his own father, who masked his lust and perverse desires under the disguise of love.  
  
At last Lucius made a decision. "You may go."  
  
#+#  
  
Draco left early the next morning. He was glad to be escaped once more, glad about several months out of Lucius' reach.  
  
But his freedom was an illusion. At the end of the year Lucius would claim him again and there was nothing he could do about. He only could rebuild the defensive walls around himself and protect the remains of his soul.  
  
END 


End file.
